I am not the best girlfriend; I get mad, I built up walls, I even run away from something that might be beautiful. Here is a little something to help you understand how I will act and what you should expect.
Dear future boyfriend,
I am hard to understand, I might change my mind once or twice, I might not understand how I truly feel about you at first, oh and I might … no, I will not trust you at first but please don’t give up on me because I will get there.
I have so many walls up that it will take me a while to trust you fully but believe me when I say that once I do the battle won’t be over. You will have to constantly remind me that you’re not going anywhere. I lived all my life with anxiety; it’s a constant struggle with myself, and some days I will lose. I will be over thinking most days, I might even push you away because am so scared that you will reject me but don’t let me go. Instead, tell me everything is okay and that you are not going anywhere.
If you ask me where I want to eat or what I want to watch and I tell you, “I don’t mind.” Well, you’d better decide. The truth is I just want to make you happy and you should know by now that I don’t really care what we eat or do as long as it is with you. Oh but please don’t make it pizza night every day (let’s be honest pizza is great and I could eat it anytime) switch it up once in a while and surprise me.
You got to understand that I won’t show my emotions very well but trust me when I say that I am going to be loyal until the end. I will only see eyes for you and I am going to do my best to show my feelings toward you. After two months get ready for the hard part. I will get afraid of this relationship, I will think it won’t succeed or I’ll just get scared of this commitment, but please don’t get mad and DO NOT LEAVE ME. Instead, remind me that you’re sticking around. Don’t give up on me.
Through the bad there will be good times, we will laugh, we will dream, we will go on adventures, and we will believe in each other. You will show me how to love and I will show you the possibilities awaiting us. I will make you smile, I will teach you that loyalty does exist and I will believe in love again. I might be a piece of shit to deal with but you won’t find anyone else that’s going to believe in you as much as I will.
Just be patient, don’t get mad, and believe in me,
Your future girlfriend
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